


Somnium

by YoruNoTenshi (TVXQmamacita)



Category: SHINee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 22:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13086888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVXQmamacita/pseuds/YoruNoTenshi
Summary: Grief is a powerful drug





	Somnium

"You really need to get out of bed," Jonghyun teased as he grabbed a pillow off the bed and threw it at Key. The pillow landed on his face, much to Key's annoyance.

Key rolled his eyes as he released a groan, grabbing the same pillow and lazily throwing it at Jonghyun. "I'm sick," he replied. "Leave me alone." He rolled onto his side, snuggling further underneath his blanket, hoping Jonghyun would get out and leave him be.

"I didn't know you were this lazy," Jonghyun said as he dropped himself onto Key's bed, laying beside him as he pulled his blanket away from him.

"I'm sick," Key repeated. "I think it's the flu."

Jonghyun's expression became serious as he placed his hand on Key's forehead. "You do seem a little warm..." he muttered.

Key snuggled his blanket once again. "I don't want you to catch anything," he said. "Get outta here."

Jonghyun shrugged. "Pretty sure I won't catch the flu," he simply replied.

Key's eyebrows furrowed together at Jonghyun's comment. "I'm a little sore," he announced after a few beats of silence.

Jonghyun started rubbing Key's back. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

Key shook his head. He sighed and closed his eyes. Jonghyun's touch was very relaxing.

"Going back to sleep already?" Jonghyun asked.

Key shook his head again. "I'm assuming you came in here because you got bored," he said. "I'd hate to disappoint."

Jonghyun smiled. "You act as if I'll never come back if you go to sleep," he pointed out. He paused when he noticed Key shiver. "If you're sick, you should rest."

"I'm not-"

"Here," Jonghyun cut him off. He adjusted his position on the bed, slightly laying himself down as he pulled Key closer to him, placing his head on Jonghyun's chest.

"I could get you sick," Key reminded him.

Jonghyun smiled. "You really won't," he argued. He began running his fingers through Key's hair, softly humming a melody until Key fell asleep.

* * *

"You okay?" Jonghyun asked in concern as Key woke up. Key looked terrified as he slowly brought his head off of Jonghyun's chest; there was no way he got a peaceful nap like Jonghyun had hoped.

"I-I..." Key stammered. "I had a weird dream is all." He took a deep breath, turning away from Jonghyun's worried gaze.

Jonghyun gently brought Key's head back to his chest and continued running his fingers through Key's hair. "Must have been terrible if it has you looking like this," he pointed out. He reached over and adjusted the blanket, covering Key a little more as the other one slightly shivered. "Do you feel better?"

Key nodded.

"Whatever dream it was, that's all it was; a dream," Jonghyun said. "Probably the flu messing with your head."

Key swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah," he agreed. "Probably." He took a deep breath, listening to Jonghyun's heartbeat. He wasn't sure why, but it had a soothing effect on him. Key really didn't want to get Jonghyun sick. The rational part of his brain was screaming at him to get Jonghyun out of here. But Key desperately craved Jonghyun's presence.

"I wish you had something to drink," Jonghyun muttered. "You're supposed to stay hydrated when you're sick."

"Maybe later," Key replied. He brought his head off Jonghyun's chest once again to look at the older one. "Let's just stay like this for a little while longer, okay?"

Jonghyun smiled. "Okay," he said.

Kay laid his head back on Jonghyun's chest. "Thank you," he said with a sigh. "Honestly I feel better already."

"If you wanted to spend time with me you didn't have to pretend to have the flu," Jonghyun teased. "You know I'll always come running for you when you need me."

Key scoffed. "Stop," he replied. "Egotism doesn't look good on you."

"You sure about that?" Jonghyun asked.

"Positive," Key answered. "I've never been more sure of anything else."

Jonghyun pouted. "But everyone thinks I'm cute no matter what," he said.

Key hummed. "There are always exceptions."

"That's disappointing,"

Key laughed. "I'm sure it-" he began. His body suddenly became stiff.

"Kibum?" Jonghyun asked in concern.

Without a reply, Key jumped out of bed and into the hallway. Jonghyun quickly followed, finding himself in the bathroom, Key painfully vomiting into the toilet.

"Oh no," Jonghyun said softly as he crouched down near Key, rubbing his back once more.

Key coughed before flushing the toilet. He groaned. "That...was gross."

Jonghyun laughed. "Yeah," he said, nodding in agreement. "It really was. What did you eat last night?"

A look of disgust crossed Key's face.

"You should go back to bed," Jonghyun suggested. "You look terrible."

"Gee," Key replied. "Thanks." He slowly stood up on his shaky legs. "Yeah. I definitely have the flu."

"Another accurate disgnosis from Doctor Kim," Jonghyun said as the two of them slowly walked back to Key's bed.

They took their old position; Jonghyun laying down with Key snuggled next to him.

"Try to go back to sleep, Kibum," Jonghyun said. "You're gonna need a lot of rest, okay?"

Key nodded.

"Want me to sing to you?"

Key almost scoffed at the question, but stopped. That offer sounded very appealing, as if the sound of Jonghyun's singing was the only thing Key wanted at this very moment.

"Yeah," Key finally answered. "I'd like that."

"Close your eyes, Kibum," Jonghyun said gently.

* * *

"Hyung?"

Key hugged his pillow, the tears falling from his eyes once more. Why was this happening? Why did this always happen?

"Hyung. Please," Taemin begged.

"He was there again, Taemin," Key muttered, his words broken with his sobs. "Why does he always-"

Taemin brought himself onto the bed, taking the spot Jonghyun had taken only in Key's mind. He slowly wrapped his arms around Key, feeling the heat from the older one's fever. Tears began falling from Taemin's eyes as well, because as much as he wanted to tell Key that imagining Jonghyun at every waking moment wasn't normal, he couldn't get himself to do that.

When Jonghyun died, a part of them died with him. It seemed the only way to stay sane was to pretend that it never happened.

No matter how much time had passed.

"Kibum, we brought you some water," Onew offered. "You really need to drink some. You're dehydrated."

Key squeezed his eyes shut as more tears fell from his face.

Taemin slowly let go of Key, encouraging the older one to accept the drink he needed.

Key sat up, Onew and Minho coming into his line of view. With a trembling hand, he took the glass of water from Onew and took a few small sips.

"Hyung," Minho spoke up. "Do you mind if we stay here with you?"

"I'd get you all sick," Key said, his voice cracking.

Onew shook his head, taking the glass from Key. "Who cares?" he asked. "We'd rather be with you. Please let us stay?"

Key bit his lip, finally nodding his head.

He craved solitude. All he wanted was to be left alone.

But every time he was alone, Jonghyun would walk in, they'd have a conversation, make stupid jokes, or watch a movie together before Key realized that it was all a stupid dream and have yet another breakdown. He was hurting himself that way, he knew it.

Minho and Onew helped themselves onto the bed, the four of them managing to fit. The number of times all five of them were able to pull of that miracle was countless.

"He won't leave me alone," Key muttered.

Key felt Onew's arms hold him even tighter.

"Do you see him now?" Minho asked.

"No," Key answered. "Not now."

Other than the sobs and sniffles coming from the four men in the room, it was quiet. None of them had the energy to keep the dorm as lively as it used to be.

"Hyung," Key croaked, his throat suddenly drying up.

Onew hummed, slightly delayed.

"Can you...can you sing...or something?" Key asked.

"Of course," Onew answered.

Key closed his eyes as he listened to Onew sing. He could hear the leader's voice break as he tried to hold back tears, but Onew never stopped, he just kept on singing. Key didn't want him to stop. He continued to let the tears fall freely from his eyes, hoping that eventually, they'd all heal.

He would be okay. They would all be okay.

They had to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted something on my Tumblr that I will post here, because I'm still broken over Jonghyun's death, and I still don't have that much ability to speak my feelings about this:
> 
> Kim Jonghyun, I'm so sorry we couldn't save you the same way you saved some of us.
> 
> And...I miss you.


End file.
